Interesting Green: Not-so-sweet smell of success

Today on sunday, Sunday July 31, 2011, COLUMN, Page 11, Speakeasy

From http://imcmsimages.mediacorp.sg/CMSFileserver/documents/006/PDF/20110731/3107FFW011.pdf

Source Website: http://www.todayonline.com/Columns/Speakeasy/EDC110731-0000004/Not-so-sweet-smell-of-success
By Georgina Chang, todayonsunday@mediacorp.com.sg, 04:45 AM Jul 31, 2011

PHOTO: Jennifer Lopez and ex-husband Marc Anthony in happier times.
Photo AP; art by Yen Yok, Copyright © MediaCorp Press Ltd, AP
http://www.todayonline.com/Columns/Speakeasy/EDC110731-0000004/Not-so-sweet-smell-of-success

PHOTO: Georgina Chang
The writer is the senior creative director of 987FM and Lush 99.5.

When a woman receives overwhelming recognition or fame, it's often harder for the man to accept it joyfully

I've always striven to be successful in whatever I do. Sadly, it doesn't happen every time but when it finally does, the applause and acknowledgement is satisfying and the monetary rewards can be rather pleasant as well.

However, I've observed how public approval affects friendships and relationships. Siblings, relatives and friends can get jealously envious of well-off peers, and expect favours and handouts. If none is forthcoming, snide remarks and bitter aspersions will be cast on your character to anyone who would listen.

Often there are altercations when a woman becomes more accomplished than her man. Tension builds, arguments increase and, often, cheating starts.

PHOTO: Sexy Jennifer Lopez Fantasy Art wallpaper
http://www.wallcoo.net/celebrity/jennifer_lopez/images/jennifer_lopez_wallpapers_10.jpg
http://www.wallcoo.net/celebrity/jennifer_lopez/html/wallpaper11.html

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony seemed to be happily married for the last seven years, working together and spawning a pair of adorable twins. Then she became an American Idol judge, was crowned the most beautiful woman in the world, scored a No 1 hit song and considered the hottest revival in entertainment.

Suddenly, they announced that they were getting divorced. A variety of rumours have sprung up about their marital problems but it's so coincidental that they broke up during the throes of her immense popularity.

PHOTO: Sexy Jennifer Lopez Fantasy Art wallpaper
http://www.wallcoo.net/celebrity/jennifer_lopez/images/jennifer_lopez_wallpapers_06.jpg
http://www.wallcoo.net/celebrity/jennifer_lopez/html/wallpaper8.html

Hilary Swank's marriage to Chad Lowe lasted through her first Oscar win (even though she forgot to thank him in her acceptance speech). But when she won an Oscar a few years later, he left her within months (despite the fact she thanked him profusely this time). She wanted to reconcile, he didn't.

Of course I don't know why they all split up but when a woman receives overwhelming recognition or fame, it's often harder for the man to accept it joyfully, especially when they are in the same industry.

PHOTO: Sexy Jennifer Lopez Fantasy Art wallpaper
http://www.wallcoo.net/celebrity/jennifer_lopez/images/jennifer_lopez_wallpapers_07.jpg
http://www.wallcoo.net/celebrity/jennifer_lopez/html/wallpaper2.html

Blame the genetically-programmed competitive streak in every guy, or maybe it's the traditional gender values that dictate that men must be the breadwinner while women gain prestige from the success of her man. It's seldom the other way round.

I've seen women brag about their husband's triumphs and peer smugly down at their hapless girlfriend whose husbands are less qualified.

PHOTO: Sexy Jennifer Lopez Fantasy Art wallpaper
http://www.wallcoo.net/celebrity/jennifer_lopez/images/jennifer_lopez_wallpapers_09.jpg
http://www.wallcoo.net/celebrity/jennifer_lopez/html/wallpaper10.html

There are only a few areas where a woman can shine more than men. One is in the physical endowment department. No guy would complain if his girlfriend was attractive (unless he was crazy possessive and didn't want other men to look at her).

He would never feel threatened if she was an amazing cook (unless he was a chef) or really, really good at washing dishes or was extraordinary at ironing clothes. But if she's a better driver, earns more and gets more job promotions, it usually doesn't augur well for the relationship.

PHOTO: Sexy Jennifer Lopez Fantasy Art wallpaper
http://www.wallcoo.net/celebrity/jennifer_lopez/images/jennifer_lopez_wallpapers_00.jpg
http://www.wallcoo.net/celebrity/jennifer_lopez/html/wallpaper1.html

Women don't have ceilings and obstacles like before. There are many chances to express our talents and aim for ultimate validation in the workplace. And most of us want to. Despite also having to juggle motherhood, we sometimes face the dilemma of striving to achieve our best, and yet curb our ambition to maintain harmony at home.

I know so many creative, capable and brilliant girlfriends who are admired in their professions. However, guys are scared of them and don't even want to get to know the amazingly caring woman they are as well.

PHOTO: Sexy Jennifer Lopez Fantasy Art wallpaper
http://www.wallcoo.net/celebrity/jennifer_lopez/images/jennifer_lopez_wallpapers_04.jpg
http://www.wallcoo.net/celebrity/jennifer_lopez/html/wallpaper6.html

It doesn't matter what stage we are at in life, whether we are rich, famous, intelligent, broke, unemployed or powerless. We're just asking to be loved and accepted without having to downplay or compromise ourselves.